Katie, I took four (4) rides on Über in the last twenty-four (24) hours. Those things are fantastic incubators for small talk. Here’s my tip schedule:
Ride 1: $1
Ride 2: $0 (that’s right, fucking goose egg)
Ride 3: the Max allowable by law.
Ride 4: $3
Now, mind you, I was traveling on the client’s dime, so I had every incentive to tip to my heart’s content. It was not coming out of my pocket, you see.
So why did one dude get zero point zero and another get a gold dubloon?
Small talk.
Let me illustrate.
Me: Hi [Ride 2 guys name].
Ride 2 guy: …
Me: (thinking he didn’t hear me): Thanks for picking me up.
Ride 2 guy: …
Me: I’m going on Southwest, that’s Terminal A, I think.
Ride 2 guy: …
You get the picture.
Now, Ride 3 guy took me on a six minute ride from the courthouse to my hotel. In that space of time we discussed:
Who changed our minds a from anti-SiriusXM to pro-SiriusXM and how;
Favorite channels on the aforementioned service;
Johnny Cash’s debut single and its worth;
Parts of San Antonio’s downtown architecture that have remained unchanged since 1931 (with a short detour to view said architecture);
How the Dodgers got their name and that there really were such things as trolley dodgers.
That was a worthwhile, educational and pleasant Über ride. All made possible by small talk and a driver who was an accomplished practitioner of the art.
Then on the plane ride home, I had to listen to two dudes behind me have an extended conversation on the subject of Roblox. Oh well.
wow, to be a fly on the wall of that third Uber ride... next time record that, slap it on a podcast, and charge me to listen! Also, my anti-Sirius to pro-Sirus moment was the Conan deal
don't forget the classic: my 10 unhelpful tips to growing your blog that won't work because in reality none of us knows what makes certain blogs spontaneously pop off!
It's being shared by someone or something with an audience in the millions and they'll do it once and once only. That's the trick! Good luck. I mean brrr why the fuck is it hot outside but cold inside?
I subscribed to the newsletter before reading this article unfortunately. Now come to realize that I have been called a weirdo, angsty teenager, baby brain and more here.
Counterpoint: I got food delivered a while back and the guy handing over my food wanted to talk to me for 20 minutes about the state of the economy but I was hungry
1) the best weather I’ve ever had was when I was in South Georgia. Cold with the most blue skies and crisp fresh air I’ve ever breathed in my life.
2) I remember being on the train reading my kindle. This was a number of years ago. The girl opposite me was reading War & Peace, a book I’ve wanted to read but I’ve never got round to and tbh I probably never will. So I noticed she kept glancing at me over her book. So I thought I’d make small talk and ask her about the book and see if it would be worth my time. She answered so i asked another question about it.
She then proceeded to inform me that her
Fiancé had brought it for her and that she wasn’t single. So I informed her my girlfriend (I was single at the time) had gotten me my kindle, adjusted my glasses and settled back to read. She moved, after going very red to a different carriage of the train. So much for small talk 😂😂.
If you ever have the opportunity then please go. It's such a beautiful landscape. It was so.........pollution free.
I was in south Georgia when the Ice Bucket Challenge was a thing if you remember that (I'm guessing you're early 20's so your parents might have kept you away from social media as a kid so you might not have seen it and I promise I don't mean that to sound snotty or condescending if it reads that way) and we all wanted to jump into the sea as our part of the challenge. Our Medical Officer forbade it and gave us a lengthy brief on the dangers of the water that cold and asked us if we were stupid or crazy or both lol.
in fact i’m in my Late Twenties (enormously different, i know) and i have an old facebook post from the era of me doing the ice bucket challenge in a zebra kiddie pool we bought for a dog... not sure that has quite the same je ne sais quoi as jumping into a freezing ocean 🤔
Well depends on if you like water, swimming and all that stuff. A small swimming pool IS an ocean to certain people. It’s all about perspective I think.
I hope you’re having a nice Saturday and have lots of plans.
Well depends on if you like water, swimming and all that stuff. A small swimming pool IS an ocean to certain people. It’s all about perspective I think.
I hope you’re having a nice Saturday and have lots of plans.
Katie, I took four (4) rides on Über in the last twenty-four (24) hours. Those things are fantastic incubators for small talk. Here’s my tip schedule:
Ride 1: $1
Ride 2: $0 (that’s right, fucking goose egg)
Ride 3: the Max allowable by law.
Ride 4: $3
Now, mind you, I was traveling on the client’s dime, so I had every incentive to tip to my heart’s content. It was not coming out of my pocket, you see.
So why did one dude get zero point zero and another get a gold dubloon?
Small talk.
Let me illustrate.
Me: Hi [Ride 2 guys name].
Ride 2 guy: …
Me: (thinking he didn’t hear me): Thanks for picking me up.
Ride 2 guy: …
Me: I’m going on Southwest, that’s Terminal A, I think.
Ride 2 guy: …
You get the picture.
Now, Ride 3 guy took me on a six minute ride from the courthouse to my hotel. In that space of time we discussed:
Who changed our minds a from anti-SiriusXM to pro-SiriusXM and how;
Favorite channels on the aforementioned service;
Johnny Cash’s debut single and its worth;
Parts of San Antonio’s downtown architecture that have remained unchanged since 1931 (with a short detour to view said architecture);
How the Dodgers got their name and that there really were such things as trolley dodgers.
That was a worthwhile, educational and pleasant Über ride. All made possible by small talk and a driver who was an accomplished practitioner of the art.
Then on the plane ride home, I had to listen to two dudes behind me have an extended conversation on the subject of Roblox. Oh well.
wow, to be a fly on the wall of that third Uber ride... next time record that, slap it on a podcast, and charge me to listen! Also, my anti-Sirius to pro-Sirus moment was the Conan deal
That you are a Conan fan is not surprising.👍
i’ll take that as a compliment 😂 i have the hair 👩🏻🦰
We need a section of Substack specific small talk topics. From what I can see on notes topics include:
- How’s your subscriber count?
- Can you believe that new feature?
- is it too early to go paid?
don't forget the classic: my 10 unhelpful tips to growing your blog that won't work because in reality none of us knows what makes certain blogs spontaneously pop off!
It's being shared by someone or something with an audience in the millions and they'll do it once and once only. That's the trick! Good luck. I mean brrr why the fuck is it hot outside but cold inside?
ahh groveling to the big wigs with power... all jobs really are the same! I mean what're you talking about i'm schvitzing in here
They really are all the same. Just like these darn early sunsets in November!
Truer words were never spoken. #StumpWisdom #WisdomoftheStump
love to see this #StumpPride on display!
🤣 we need merch
Mia! 😂 love it!
I subscribed to the newsletter before reading this article unfortunately. Now come to realize that I have been called a weirdo, angsty teenager, baby brain and more here.
on The Stump we call those "terms of endearment." you can never be worse than whatever the hell i am, trust me
I can’t help it... every time I hear about “small talk” this comes back to me
https://youtu.be/9FqFm_vmVnE?si=Fpbe_S507cw59AMT
many people have been saying i should watch this show, and they may be right because that was earnestly delightful lol
Counterpoint: I got food delivered a while back and the guy handing over my food wanted to talk to me for 20 minutes about the state of the economy but I was hungry
he violated the rule about never discussing anything in the news, ergo he violated the small talk contract ☝🏼
You're right - by george the system is airtight!
This was a great article! I always enjoy reading your stuff! Great pick-me-up!
thank you so much!!! if I ever stop being a pick-me-up for folks, i'll know it's time to call it quits
I like "so what do you do" because i like fisticuffs
a bold but undeniably classic choice! especially fun to pull out during the holidays with that second cousin no one quite remebers
1) the best weather I’ve ever had was when I was in South Georgia. Cold with the most blue skies and crisp fresh air I’ve ever breathed in my life.
2) I remember being on the train reading my kindle. This was a number of years ago. The girl opposite me was reading War & Peace, a book I’ve wanted to read but I’ve never got round to and tbh I probably never will. So I noticed she kept glancing at me over her book. So I thought I’d make small talk and ask her about the book and see if it would be worth my time. She answered so i asked another question about it.
She then proceeded to inform me that her
Fiancé had brought it for her and that she wasn’t single. So I informed her my girlfriend (I was single at the time) had gotten me my kindle, adjusted my glasses and settled back to read. She moved, after going very red to a different carriage of the train. So much for small talk 😂😂.
1) I can almost taste that air... nothing like a cold burn in your lungs to make you feel ALIVE
2) she must've missed it when Tolstoy instructs us to "simply want to live; to cause no evil to anyone but myself."
If you ever have the opportunity then please go. It's such a beautiful landscape. It was so.........pollution free.
I was in south Georgia when the Ice Bucket Challenge was a thing if you remember that (I'm guessing you're early 20's so your parents might have kept you away from social media as a kid so you might not have seen it and I promise I don't mean that to sound snotty or condescending if it reads that way) and we all wanted to jump into the sea as our part of the challenge. Our Medical Officer forbade it and gave us a lengthy brief on the dangers of the water that cold and asked us if we were stupid or crazy or both lol.
in fact i’m in my Late Twenties (enormously different, i know) and i have an old facebook post from the era of me doing the ice bucket challenge in a zebra kiddie pool we bought for a dog... not sure that has quite the same je ne sais quoi as jumping into a freezing ocean 🤔
Well depends on if you like water, swimming and all that stuff. A small swimming pool IS an ocean to certain people. It’s all about perspective I think.
I hope you’re having a nice Saturday and have lots of plans.
Well depends on if you like water, swimming and all that stuff. A small swimming pool IS an ocean to certain people. It’s all about perspective I think.
I hope you’re having a nice Saturday and have lots of plans.