This resonated a LOT. The thing I'm proud of being bad at is running. I go very slowly for not many kilometres at all, but I run in a circle round a park near my house listening to my audiobook and afterwards I feel GREAT. I have no desire to run races or hit goals or anything like that.
Also - I've read somewhere before that in the northern hemisphere at least, January is the worst time to set a new goal because it's cold, dark, there feels like there's less time in the day, etc. If we HAVE to have a resolution we should start them in May or June.
we can be bad at running together!!!!! it’s incredible how good i am at going nowhere but becoming very exhausted doing so
and yeah! i put it on mother nature to clean up her january attitude first before i have to fix mine! i can’t possibly eat better starting on Jan 1 when the weather requires consuming delicious, *insulating* fat
I’m totally on board with that concept, Katie! When I was in high school we were assigned a self-help book to read called “I’m Ok, You’re Ok.” I did not read that book. Why? Because I was already Ok.
(Ok, the real reason I didn’t read it was because I was lazy.)
“Metaphors from Physics I barely remember” 😂 Love the Stump Seal of Approval. I’d like to see a “Stump Reads” feature and send the Stump Seal of Approval to each lucky writer.
Because you procrastinated until now to post this, I already made my resolutions, which makes it your fault. Fortunately my resolutions are pretty lame since they are about doing stuff I was already going to do, am doing, and will continue to do, except for being a better person. I had to add that one, not because I intend to do it, but because it’s a “Look! Squirrel!” kind of resolution to distract people from how rancid I actually am.
However, I agree with your basic premise. Resolutions are nothing more than attempts to gentrify people instead of neighborhoods and we all know what a problem gentrified neighborhoods are. Gentrified people stop laying around watching daytime tv in their underwear. They get their car tires fixed instead of driving around for months on the little space saver things. They stop wearing stained or unraveling underwear. They eat kale. In other words, there is nothing to recommend them to the rest of us.
i am rejecting the premise of taking blame here, as you’ll note i actively encouraged you to DROP your resolutions, putting the ball squarely back in your court... you get a pass though because considering resolutions “human gentrification” is truly a novel and intriguing proposition. gotta make room for the boba shop somewhere between their third and fourth ribs
And an alley full of rat-infested dumpsters, because we all know where that alley is.
All of which doesn’t make you any less guilty of lulling us into a false sense of well-being and then hitting us between the eyes with a resolution guilt bomb.
Are you sure you aren’t my mother-in-law from another incarnation? Because I seriously think you are.
There are a lot of problems with self-improvement and especially how it manifests in modern society, but I think there is validity in it. To me, there are two things people mean when they say 'okay' (writing about this right now, actually), which is 'existential okay' and 'there's no benefit to improving okay'. Existential okay is important. You deserve to exist as you are. The other I'm not too sure about.
There are two reasons I've always been on the self-improvement train.
One is simply put as "Life doesn't get easier, you get better". And now that I'm 'in the real world', life gets pretty fuckin hard man. I think self-improvement too often gets framed at doing more, when it's really about doing better. The point of self-improvement is so you can do all these things without being at capacity!
I'm glad I have my shit together so I could get a good job, I'm glad I exercise (8 hours on the desk is no bueno for any body), and I'm glad I'm good enough at getting shit done that I can still live a life outside of work because it's genuinely hard to.
The second is that it's given me everything I've cared about. Effort breeds meaning. I was never naturally charismatic, but became relatively socially adept through observation and careful planning and yes, cringey but nevertheless true, books. Relationships that I never would've had fill my life with meaning.
Ah fuck it, i'm turning this into a full piece. Thanks for the inspiration!
This resonated a LOT. The thing I'm proud of being bad at is running. I go very slowly for not many kilometres at all, but I run in a circle round a park near my house listening to my audiobook and afterwards I feel GREAT. I have no desire to run races or hit goals or anything like that.
Also - I've read somewhere before that in the northern hemisphere at least, January is the worst time to set a new goal because it's cold, dark, there feels like there's less time in the day, etc. If we HAVE to have a resolution we should start them in May or June.
we can be bad at running together!!!!! it’s incredible how good i am at going nowhere but becoming very exhausted doing so
and yeah! i put it on mother nature to clean up her january attitude first before i have to fix mine! i can’t possibly eat better starting on Jan 1 when the weather requires consuming delicious, *insulating* fat
Wholeheartedly agree with all of this!
“You are literally fine the way you are”
I’m totally on board with that concept, Katie! When I was in high school we were assigned a self-help book to read called “I’m Ok, You’re Ok.” I did not read that book. Why? Because I was already Ok.
(Ok, the real reason I didn’t read it was because I was lazy.)
it’s Okay to be lazy too!!
also, don’t even get me started on self-help books... my mortal enemy
It’s even okay to not be okay. If it wasn’t okay to be not okay, two thirds of us would wither up and fall off Substack.
My resolution was to be late to work less often and since the new year has started I have been late to work more than before. heck yeah!
claire i’ve never been so proud of you in my goddamn life keep up the great work 👑
“Metaphors from Physics I barely remember” 😂 Love the Stump Seal of Approval. I’d like to see a “Stump Reads” feature and send the Stump Seal of Approval to each lucky writer.
jolene you are HIRED as my content strategist
🫡
I think it's time we all started an anti-self-help movement. https://tyagarajan.substack.com/p/seven-habits-of-highly-ineffective
oh my god are we twin flames? dull, ineffective twin flames??
More like lukewarm water that drizzles over flames to douse them. Sorry, that reads unnecessarily gross.
Because you procrastinated until now to post this, I already made my resolutions, which makes it your fault. Fortunately my resolutions are pretty lame since they are about doing stuff I was already going to do, am doing, and will continue to do, except for being a better person. I had to add that one, not because I intend to do it, but because it’s a “Look! Squirrel!” kind of resolution to distract people from how rancid I actually am.
However, I agree with your basic premise. Resolutions are nothing more than attempts to gentrify people instead of neighborhoods and we all know what a problem gentrified neighborhoods are. Gentrified people stop laying around watching daytime tv in their underwear. They get their car tires fixed instead of driving around for months on the little space saver things. They stop wearing stained or unraveling underwear. They eat kale. In other words, there is nothing to recommend them to the rest of us.
i am rejecting the premise of taking blame here, as you’ll note i actively encouraged you to DROP your resolutions, putting the ball squarely back in your court... you get a pass though because considering resolutions “human gentrification” is truly a novel and intriguing proposition. gotta make room for the boba shop somewhere between their third and fourth ribs
And an alley full of rat-infested dumpsters, because we all know where that alley is.
All of which doesn’t make you any less guilty of lulling us into a false sense of well-being and then hitting us between the eyes with a resolution guilt bomb.
Are you sure you aren’t my mother-in-law from another incarnation? Because I seriously think you are.
I just realized that resolutions are the Karens of vows.
if i’m not making everyone feel mildly bad then what’s even the point??
If I don’t upset at least one hippie, the day wasn’t worth living.
There are a lot of problems with self-improvement and especially how it manifests in modern society, but I think there is validity in it. To me, there are two things people mean when they say 'okay' (writing about this right now, actually), which is 'existential okay' and 'there's no benefit to improving okay'. Existential okay is important. You deserve to exist as you are. The other I'm not too sure about.
There are two reasons I've always been on the self-improvement train.
One is simply put as "Life doesn't get easier, you get better". And now that I'm 'in the real world', life gets pretty fuckin hard man. I think self-improvement too often gets framed at doing more, when it's really about doing better. The point of self-improvement is so you can do all these things without being at capacity!
I'm glad I have my shit together so I could get a good job, I'm glad I exercise (8 hours on the desk is no bueno for any body), and I'm glad I'm good enough at getting shit done that I can still live a life outside of work because it's genuinely hard to.
The second is that it's given me everything I've cared about. Effort breeds meaning. I was never naturally charismatic, but became relatively socially adept through observation and careful planning and yes, cringey but nevertheless true, books. Relationships that I never would've had fill my life with meaning.
Ah fuck it, i'm turning this into a full piece. Thanks for the inspiration!