There is no single physical copy of the Gregorian calendar that you can hunt down and destroy, Katie.
1. Idk my fumes are running on their own subset of fumes which I didn't know was possible but thats what happens when you balance being a student with being a business owner with being a weird basketball substackeroni that you started doing in your free time which suddenly appears to be no longer free but you sure aren't getting paid for it so maybe it is free
2. I like October. I don't know if I have a particular favorite month, though December is always good vibes. Leaves change, it dips below 70 degrees in Texas, etc etc.
3. We simply make them hyper-exclusive, removing all dates within the month of February. It's like you're part of the SOHO House, but you have to pay for it with your birthright
4. I always worry about this when it comes to taking a break. It's like, I know people won't unsubscribe when I'm out of sight out of mind, but when I suddenly pop back into their lives like a stupid jack in the box then they get all scared and wonder why I'm inside their walls
1) Dented my skull by running my head into the corner of an open cabinet
2) Best Month is October because it’s the last vestige of freedom before family obligations related to holidays ruins any sense of routine
3) Pisces can share with Geminis bc they both represent duality in some way. Aquarius should just be removed from the zodiac bc I really don’t like that the “water bearer” is categorized as an air sign
4) Unsubscribing after I hit send on this. Not because you’ve been late consistently, but because you keep apologizing for it
straight up, I was referring to something that happened two days ago. are u saying there was a moment in our childhood that I hit my head so hard that it has made a 10+ year impression on you??
when we were in fifth grade you smacked ur head really hard on smthn (i forget if it was a cabinet i was just assuming and i think it was at ur house so it made sense) and i remember it being A Thing for a minute
also just to add onto the horrors of February. The last week has contained a majority of days with 30 to 40 degree differences between the highs and lows. that’s just not sustainable. not kind. It’s certainly not thoughtful.
how am i supposed to dress for 17 in the morning and 53 in the afternoon ? the kids like to say “hot girls don’t get cold” but, as someone near death, that doesn’t work for me
1. I got rejected from a job offer, my university's creative writing major, and probably a couple girls all in February.
2. December has that holiday season and everyone is in a happy mood because we get the week off at the end. Also, there's usually snow. Sorry not sorry but it's not October.
3. Can we just get rid of them? I mean, yes it is personality type erasure but we're talking about getting rid of February here.
4. Sorry, I'm too tired from dealing with an extra day of February to answer this.
I predict exactly 15 people will unsubscribe because of this post. 14 because they just remembered they're subbed to you, and one who's an aquarius and got offended.
As a son of the tropics, I vote for December as the best year. Weather is fantastic, people have all given up on any productive endeavor, everyone is thinking of holidays and the world seems to breathe a sigh of relief that yet another year of futile nothingness is getting over. I wish all months were December, especially February. I would rearrange the calendar as January, December, Doesn't matter, April, My Birthday, N's Birthday, Doesn't matter, Unnecessary inclusion, September, October, Almost December, December.
first of all, the phrase “a son of the tropics” goes unbelievably hard… you should be using that all the time in all situations
second, i will pass your calendar up the chain and see what we can do, and as you’ve correctly included October in your otherwise slash-and-burn approach, i like your chances
WAIT! You're saying that McGruff the crime dog was a DOJ stooge? I thought he was just a solo vigilant out for justice.
I once got to play McGruff the crime dog for a company function. Despite the long list of items I could NOT do while dressed up as McGruff, IT WAS AWESOME!
okay but the most important question has to be: did you commit any crimes while dressed up as McGruff the Crime Dog?? even something small like jaywalking
Hold on, hold on. Excuse me, did I read that someone overthrew you from your Valedictorian BIRTHRIGHT? How dare they. Something similar happened to me, in June, but I have no hard feelings. They aren't my sworn enemies. Why? Because I started negating their existence from that point forward. If we're still kicking Feb I'd like to join, it sounds fun.
it’s the least of all my grudges in life but in the moment of the february it happened WOW was i unpleasantly surprised! stunned even!! luckily im blessed with a goldfish brain and did get over it quickly but i simply had to bring it up here as an Original Sin of february. and were ALWAYS kicking february so grab a steel toed and lace ‘em up!
February is when all the snowed over dog mess re-emerges, which is third tier disgusting. Sheets and towels aren’t on sale during February. Our rode is ice / potholes / mud, and stupid deer and elk running in front of the car. The only good thing about February is that it is warmer than August in Canada.
I guess I don’t know what to say, except you threw a lot of rocks at Greg Orian, a pretty solid guy except for the calendar.
And October is good. I spent my first entire month of life in October. A couple days in September, but it wasn’t anything compared to October. I didn’t have much experience then, so I thought October was how the world worked. What I soon learned pretty much sucked, but by then I was past my return date. I was still under warranty, but they couldn’t return me.
this is kind of blowing my mind, Switter… i’d never considered that my infatuation for October could be due to its early roll in my life. once you’ve seen pumpkins and skeletons just Around it’s pretty jarring to tell a kid “actually we don’t do that the other 334 days a year, like, at all.”
maybe i’d like february more if it had more skeletons, and not just the ones from the closet
FIRST of all, I am MORTALLY offended by the February slander.
SECOND of all, February has nothing on August in terms of sheer awfulness. August is 31 days of heat and misery.
THIRD of all, and this is in no way FEBRUARY’S fault, but the second month of the year is always the worst month of the school year. Everybody is sick of everyone else’s shit, 95% of the teaching you have to do for the year occurs in February, and everybody is up your ass about everything.
If I'm reading this right, you seem to be advocating for February to have more days, so it better synchronizes with the other months. Wouldn't you rather have fewer days in the month you so despise? We can give the extra days to nice months, like May or September.
february either needs to get it together or gtfo… either behave itself like the other 11 months of the year manage to do, or we have to violently destroy it entirely
this philosophy is also why i could never be an elementary school teacher
"My second idea is that we all hibernate like bears through the month." ---> Mentally I'm here. See, I can't even come up with a more recent meme bc, why? It's Feb. Disgusting & displeasing.
YES 👏 👏 OCTOBER IS the best! What if we replace February with October and had two Octobers??
Big October is the innovation we’re looking for around here
There is no single physical copy of the Gregorian calendar that you can hunt down and destroy, Katie.
1. Idk my fumes are running on their own subset of fumes which I didn't know was possible but thats what happens when you balance being a student with being a business owner with being a weird basketball substackeroni that you started doing in your free time which suddenly appears to be no longer free but you sure aren't getting paid for it so maybe it is free
2. I like October. I don't know if I have a particular favorite month, though December is always good vibes. Leaves change, it dips below 70 degrees in Texas, etc etc.
3. We simply make them hyper-exclusive, removing all dates within the month of February. It's like you're part of the SOHO House, but you have to pay for it with your birthright
4. I always worry about this when it comes to taking a break. It's like, I know people won't unsubscribe when I'm out of sight out of mind, but when I suddenly pop back into their lives like a stupid jack in the box then they get all scared and wonder why I'm inside their walls
Very unhinged as always, Katie!
1) you sound like me, which is to say, terrible at making decisions! congratulations! welcome to the club we need stimulants
2) alrite but how about when Christmas in Texas has been 80 degrees??? not so magical now!
3) as if pisces and aquariuses don’t have enough of a complex already (fishes)
4) i have to imagine my presence is jarring if you’ve forgotten i exist… i mean, look at this what is this
glad to be of unhinged service 🫡🫡🫡
Christmas in Texas isn’t alwayyyys that bad
It was like, 55 last year which is to say everybody gets bundled up more than a cable company
i was swimming at a beach in texas on december 31st let’s not kid ourselves here
I didn’t say New Years Eve Katie 🫠 (that’s me melting I guess, what a funny emoji)
Remember weather in Texas is flightier than a high school relationship
alright mr. pedantic over here!! (😶🌫️ i chose this emoji because you’re shrouded in delusion of texas christmas!)
There's a reason February is the shortest month. Everyone since the Romans have wanted this thing over ASAP.
friends, romans, countrymen, lend me your ears! i come to bury february, not to praise it
1) Dented my skull by running my head into the corner of an open cabinet
2) Best Month is October because it’s the last vestige of freedom before family obligations related to holidays ruins any sense of routine
3) Pisces can share with Geminis bc they both represent duality in some way. Aquarius should just be removed from the zodiac bc I really don’t like that the “water bearer” is categorized as an air sign
4) Unsubscribing after I hit send on this. Not because you’ve been late consistently, but because you keep apologizing for it
1) i remember this but it’s amazing you do
2) AHEM don’t forget our anniversary
3) inspired, exquisite, and got aquarius’s ass
4) im so sorry u feel that way and i apologize for the displeasure i have caused 💔💔💔
straight up, I was referring to something that happened two days ago. are u saying there was a moment in our childhood that I hit my head so hard that it has made a 10+ year impression on you??
when we were in fifth grade you smacked ur head really hard on smthn (i forget if it was a cabinet i was just assuming and i think it was at ur house so it made sense) and i remember it being A Thing for a minute
glad to see i was right that u wouldn’t remember it!
also just to add onto the horrors of February. The last week has contained a majority of days with 30 to 40 degree differences between the highs and lows. that’s just not sustainable. not kind. It’s certainly not thoughtful.
how am i supposed to dress for 17 in the morning and 53 in the afternoon ? the kids like to say “hot girls don’t get cold” but, as someone near death, that doesn’t work for me
1. I got rejected from a job offer, my university's creative writing major, and probably a couple girls all in February.
2. December has that holiday season and everyone is in a happy mood because we get the week off at the end. Also, there's usually snow. Sorry not sorry but it's not October.
3. Can we just get rid of them? I mean, yes it is personality type erasure but we're talking about getting rid of February here.
4. Sorry, I'm too tired from dealing with an extra day of February to answer this.
1) we should just rename February “Rejection” to get rid of this branding issue
2) ooo so close! it is, in fact, October… thanks for playing!
3) fair point no one will miss an aquarius
4) i expect so much less from you on this nothing day so get cracking
4) Read my latest story and it will give me the motivation to answer.
bet!!!
Okay, as promised.
I predict exactly 15 people will unsubscribe because of this post. 14 because they just remembered they're subbed to you, and one who's an aquarius and got offended.
So glad someone finally said this. You’re doing god’s work.
the people hated jesus (me) because (s)he spoke the truth
we are so close to february being over and i’m so excited about it.
ONE MORE DAY 🗣️ ONE MORE DAY 🗣️ one more damned day
I had a friend in primary school who had a birthday in February. We drifted apart as we grew up. I blame the month.
how can they be expected to be reliable friends when they’re born from the unstablest of months??
As a son of the tropics, I vote for December as the best year. Weather is fantastic, people have all given up on any productive endeavor, everyone is thinking of holidays and the world seems to breathe a sigh of relief that yet another year of futile nothingness is getting over. I wish all months were December, especially February. I would rearrange the calendar as January, December, Doesn't matter, April, My Birthday, N's Birthday, Doesn't matter, Unnecessary inclusion, September, October, Almost December, December.
first of all, the phrase “a son of the tropics” goes unbelievably hard… you should be using that all the time in all situations
second, i will pass your calendar up the chain and see what we can do, and as you’ve correctly included October in your otherwise slash-and-burn approach, i like your chances
WAIT! You're saying that McGruff the crime dog was a DOJ stooge? I thought he was just a solo vigilant out for justice.
I once got to play McGruff the crime dog for a company function. Despite the long list of items I could NOT do while dressed up as McGruff, IT WAS AWESOME!
okay but the most important question has to be: did you commit any crimes while dressed up as McGruff the Crime Dog?? even something small like jaywalking
If McGruff the Crime Dog does it can it be a crime? We're getting into some Nixonian logic here.
unless we’ve all misunderstood his title and he’s not McGruff the Crime Dog because he hates crime but rather because he is the best at it
Hold on, hold on. Excuse me, did I read that someone overthrew you from your Valedictorian BIRTHRIGHT? How dare they. Something similar happened to me, in June, but I have no hard feelings. They aren't my sworn enemies. Why? Because I started negating their existence from that point forward. If we're still kicking Feb I'd like to join, it sounds fun.
it’s the least of all my grudges in life but in the moment of the february it happened WOW was i unpleasantly surprised! stunned even!! luckily im blessed with a goldfish brain and did get over it quickly but i simply had to bring it up here as an Original Sin of february. and were ALWAYS kicking february so grab a steel toed and lace ‘em up!
I might start signing emails with 'doing my okayest'
be bolder: “doing very much not okay but still need money”
February is when all the snowed over dog mess re-emerges, which is third tier disgusting. Sheets and towels aren’t on sale during February. Our rode is ice / potholes / mud, and stupid deer and elk running in front of the car. The only good thing about February is that it is warmer than August in Canada.
february poisoned our water supply, burned our crops, and delivered a plague unto our houses… and it broke my car
tangentially, i don’t trust any information from canada what are they hiding up there
I don’t know. They are so aching for a breaking. It’s like they think they have their own country and everything, including their own money and flag.
poor canada, i hope someone tells them soon that they’re just a poor man’s Minnesota
It shouldn’t be hard to tell them. I heard only about 15 people live there.
and 6 of those are polar bears in trench coats
I hope they are wearing pants under the trench coats and not just taped on pant legs.
I guess I don’t know what to say, except you threw a lot of rocks at Greg Orian, a pretty solid guy except for the calendar.
And October is good. I spent my first entire month of life in October. A couple days in September, but it wasn’t anything compared to October. I didn’t have much experience then, so I thought October was how the world worked. What I soon learned pretty much sucked, but by then I was past my return date. I was still under warranty, but they couldn’t return me.
this is kind of blowing my mind, Switter… i’d never considered that my infatuation for October could be due to its early roll in my life. once you’ve seen pumpkins and skeletons just Around it’s pretty jarring to tell a kid “actually we don’t do that the other 334 days a year, like, at all.”
maybe i’d like february more if it had more skeletons, and not just the ones from the closet
FIRST of all, I am MORTALLY offended by the February slander.
SECOND of all, February has nothing on August in terms of sheer awfulness. August is 31 days of heat and misery.
THIRD of all, and this is in no way FEBRUARY’S fault, but the second month of the year is always the worst month of the school year. Everybody is sick of everyone else’s shit, 95% of the teaching you have to do for the year occurs in February, and everybody is up your ass about everything.
It’s a great month, tho.
so what i'm hearing is:
1) february birthday
2) lives in texas
3) coping about february being the worst
If I'm reading this right, you seem to be advocating for February to have more days, so it better synchronizes with the other months. Wouldn't you rather have fewer days in the month you so despise? We can give the extra days to nice months, like May or September.
february either needs to get it together or gtfo… either behave itself like the other 11 months of the year manage to do, or we have to violently destroy it entirely
this philosophy is also why i could never be an elementary school teacher
"My second idea is that we all hibernate like bears through the month." ---> Mentally I'm here. See, I can't even come up with a more recent meme bc, why? It's Feb. Disgusting & displeasing.
i want “Disgusting & Displeasing” on a stamp i can put on people’s foreheads anytime they say something i personally find annoying