25 Comments

I literally cannot get over the idea of bees being medium fast and medium clown

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they are! they’re zippy little doofuses

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my uncle had numerous gadgets and always brought them out to share with minimal asking. I encourage all to ask about them with anyone.

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i believe this technique is particularly effective on uncles, who generally either need to be distracted from Always Talking or pulled away from standing in the corner and Never Talking

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We’re going to need a conversation about not including football. Columbus didn’t create the framework for an effective blitz for us to sit around and count our blessings instead of dive into the intricacies of a 4-3, 3-4, 335 or 425 base defense or whether a 260lb DE can hold up in a 3-4 or if he needs to add 10-15lbs in the offseason.

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tyler my boy we can talk about the intricacies of football as loooong as you want this thanksgiving, but you’re going to have to be prepared for the fact that my level of thoughtfulness is that im not really sure why they don’t just throw it a long way every time

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Katie, my family Thanksgiving promises to be a very tedious affair. I’m quite sure that the above suggestions, while very well thought out, would be ineffective against the impenetrable wall of dishumor I like to call, “my in-laws.” (If dishumor is a word.) I can only see one viable solution. How much will you accept to emcee the event?

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doing bits to try to get laughs and engagement out of utterly humorless in-laws? sounds awful... i’ll gladly do it for free let me at ‘em!

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When everybody is a few drinks in I’m going to pose a question asking if we can get a Stump rather than a whole tree 🌲 this year, followed by “Artificial or Real?” Thanks for the guide 😂

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i love this! “O christmas stump, O christmas stump, how lovely are your lack of branches!”

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Haha! I’m gonna wrap it in lights and serve hor d’oeuvres off the top of it. “Gather round, children!” 🪵

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#4 -- I never thought of caves. Dang...

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caves, tunnels, tubes... the possibilities are infinite

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omg I got mentioned

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i definitely wasn’t testing ur loyalty with that easter egg absolutely not!

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I honestly got lucky. I’m behind on several articles

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okay but don’t *tell people that*! everyone is religiously reading my blog promptly as soon as it drops, and i don’t want to see any slander to the contrary!

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should be a prize for whoever can get a few good things in the fast-fundamental quadrant

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undoubtedly our hardest category. i think bill clinton was in there ?

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he was a thought but after a while i think we all agreed that bill clinton is nothing but smoooooth

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yes that’s right so maybe it was hilary ? one of the clintons was down there by their lonesome

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How do you stop the “oh. Still haven’t met anyone yet?” 😂😂😂

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go into excruciating detail about the very last person you met... just give them the most information about that guy who dropped his pen at the bank

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Unfortunately all I can talk about is sailors 😂 so not good for a straight guy 😂😂.

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Nov 22, 2023Edited
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i have yet to meet a family that can

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