25 Comments
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S Peter Davis's avatar

I literally cannot get over the idea of bees being medium fast and medium clown

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Katie Nissen's avatar

they are! they’re zippy little doofuses

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Alex Drude's avatar

my uncle had numerous gadgets and always brought them out to share with minimal asking. I encourage all to ask about them with anyone.

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Katie Nissen's avatar

i believe this technique is particularly effective on uncles, who generally either need to be distracted from Always Talking or pulled away from standing in the corner and Never Talking

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Tyler N's avatar

We’re going to need a conversation about not including football. Columbus didn’t create the framework for an effective blitz for us to sit around and count our blessings instead of dive into the intricacies of a 4-3, 3-4, 335 or 425 base defense or whether a 260lb DE can hold up in a 3-4 or if he needs to add 10-15lbs in the offseason.

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Katie Nissen's avatar

tyler my boy we can talk about the intricacies of football as loooong as you want this thanksgiving, but you’re going to have to be prepared for the fact that my level of thoughtfulness is that im not really sure why they don’t just throw it a long way every time

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T. D. Wolf's avatar

Katie, my family Thanksgiving promises to be a very tedious affair. I’m quite sure that the above suggestions, while very well thought out, would be ineffective against the impenetrable wall of dishumor I like to call, “my in-laws.” (If dishumor is a word.) I can only see one viable solution. How much will you accept to emcee the event?

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Katie Nissen's avatar

doing bits to try to get laughs and engagement out of utterly humorless in-laws? sounds awful... i’ll gladly do it for free let me at ‘em!

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Jolene Handy's avatar

When everybody is a few drinks in I’m going to pose a question asking if we can get a Stump rather than a whole tree 🌲 this year, followed by “Artificial or Real?” Thanks for the guide 😂

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Katie Nissen's avatar

i love this! “O christmas stump, O christmas stump, how lovely are your lack of branches!”

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Jolene Handy's avatar

Haha! I’m gonna wrap it in lights and serve hor d’oeuvres off the top of it. “Gather round, children!” 🪵

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Tad Thurston's avatar

#4 -- I never thought of caves. Dang...

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Katie Nissen's avatar

caves, tunnels, tubes... the possibilities are infinite

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Marcus Sloan's avatar

omg I got mentioned

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Katie Nissen's avatar

i definitely wasn’t testing ur loyalty with that easter egg absolutely not!

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Marcus Sloan's avatar

I honestly got lucky. I’m behind on several articles

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Katie Nissen's avatar

okay but don’t *tell people that*! everyone is religiously reading my blog promptly as soon as it drops, and i don’t want to see any slander to the contrary!

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Jessica's avatar

should be a prize for whoever can get a few good things in the fast-fundamental quadrant

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Katie Nissen's avatar

undoubtedly our hardest category. i think bill clinton was in there ?

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Jessica's avatar

he was a thought but after a while i think we all agreed that bill clinton is nothing but smoooooth

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Katie Nissen's avatar

yes that’s right so maybe it was hilary ? one of the clintons was down there by their lonesome

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Vulkan's avatar

How do you stop the “oh. Still haven’t met anyone yet?” 😂😂😂

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Katie Nissen's avatar

go into excruciating detail about the very last person you met... just give them the most information about that guy who dropped his pen at the bank

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Vulkan's avatar

Unfortunately all I can talk about is sailors 😂 so not good for a straight guy 😂😂.

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Nov 22, 2023Edited
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Katie Nissen's avatar

i have yet to meet a family that can

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